I put off dealing with stonecutters. Just could not find anything that seemed right. Well, I knew what I wanted: a cardinal, some dogwood blossoms, and a cross. These had come to represent the full circle of Heidi’s life for us, so I searched. But I could not find a pattern that included all three. I couldn’t even find individual patterns that I liked.
Especially for the cardinal. All the cardinals the various stonecutters had to offer were either grim or prim. Not Heidi cardinals at all. Even in the worst of times, she was never grim-faced. And the only time you got prim from her was if you crossed her sense of right and wrong in just the wrong way. With a quick glance at you, she would stick her nose up and turn away with a, “Hmmmff…” Then stalk off.
Add stiff to that. All those cardinals were so stiff. Their cardinals stood paralyzed on dead branches, no movement in a single line. They evoked the opposite of Heidi’s buoyant personality. I wanted a happy cardinal. One filled with joy because he had finally landed home. Scouring the Internet, I could not find one anywhere.
I figured I would have to create my own. So, I began to collect photos of cardinals in action that even approached what I envisioned.
But it had been a long time since I had put pencil to paper. Plus I rarely succeeded at drawing in the coloring book style required for cutting granite.
At the start of each day I would pick a pencil up, stare at the pictures on my screen, and overcome with self-doubt, let it drop back to my desk. Eventually I figured out what parts of which photos I wanted to use. In fits and starts, I drew the kind of cardinal I had searched for.
If you look closely, you will see he is smiling.
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The stonecutter was excited when I handed him my home-drawn bird. He loved its joy and the movement, and said, “I can tell you what. I will certainly be using this again!”
I felt a little disheartened as I had drawn it for Heidi and liked the idea it would be unique, but also took joy in knowing my attempt would bring comfort to other families.