About Me

  Patricia Hammell Kashtock

Aka: Pat Kashtock. Mother of three, wife of one. BA in Social Work and Biblical Studies. Graduate work at Virginia Tech interrupted, then derailed by oldest child’s brain tumor...

My life has not followed the course I planned. But I am not complaining. Pain is to be expected in a world broken apart from its Creator.

The miracle resides in the ability to find joy when least expected...


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Blogs of Note

Windows to the Woman’s Soul (W2WSoul)
Hope's Home
A Redeemed Life
The Writing Life
Kendall Harmon Titus 1:9
A Mom's Life
Robin's Nesting Place

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For What It's Worth

Each life is a journey. The voices of many guides try to direct us, saying, “This is the path – walk in it!” Yet each one leads in a different direction.

I believe only one Voice can be true. That Voice will lead us in ways most unexpected, into worlds yet undiscovered. It will lead us up the hill, around the river and through the forest. And sometimes, it will lead without mercy.

Or so it seems.

I have made listening for that Voice and following it, my life’s quest. I will share some of what I have heard that Voice say with you. But I am not in the business of telling people how to think or what to believe. Each has to decide for himself. Only you can decide if you find the truth of the Voice in these words. And only you can decide how much it is worth to know the Voice, and follow.

But for me, it is worth the whole world.

And then some…

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Dusty Pictures: Heidi Elizabeth Kashtock

Dusty Pictures


verse 1:

I dusted your picture today

and I remember

when life was full of promise

and the dreams we had

were something yet to be known

I look at you, your picture

with eyes of brown

a heart of gold and I remember,

I remember…



Oh, where did the time go

the child go

when did she leave?

I want to know

what happened

how did it happen

is it real?


Verse 2:

I reach out to hold you but all

I hold is a picture

your picture with the smile

that always warmed my heart

Must it be that I will never

see your eyes again sparkle

the way that they sparkled

in the sunlight? and I remember,

I remember…



Oh, where did the time go

the child go

when did she leave?

I want to know

what happened

how did it happen

is it real?



And I’m left here

askin’ all the questions

never hearing the answers

never hearing your laughter…


only the falling of dust

onto the rug



Oh, why did she go

must it be so

I will never…

I’ll never know

what happened

how it happened…

what might have been…



Patricia Hammell Kashtock 

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Reader Comments (4)

dearest Pat...each word you have written tells me how much heidi was loved and how much she is missed each day...

she is smiling down at you from heaven Pat, she will be happy if you are happy and sad if you are...so please do not be so sad...

her time with you was limited but i am sure that time was the most precious for the bond and the love you two seem to share.

i am not very good with words when i am sad, so may i just send you prayers for courage and peace of mind and heart?

September 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermahnaz ahmed

Mahnaz -- You are the sweetest person! Thank you so much for your kind words. Prayers are wonderful, thank you. God is good. Without Him, I would not have made it. Some days it hurts worse than others. Oddly, that is okay. It helps me understand others who have lost much. So many have lost far more than we have, sometimes their whole families, and my heart breaks for them.

You are better with words than you think...

Many blessings,

September 30, 2009 | Registered Commenter[Pat Kashtock]

Firstly - thank you for your visit to Tracey's virtual memorial.

I believe that every parent suffers so much pain when a child is taken to soon - irresepctive of how death occurs. - the void and the lonliness overrides the cause of death. The huge question of why? will never be answered for anyone of us. We all cling to memories and do the best we can to live instead of exist.

I pray each day that every parent who has lost a child will see the beauty and joy that we are blessed with, from a small butterfly to a lightening bolts across the sky and these will help in some small way to bring some peace into their hearts.

October 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarol Thompson

Carol -- that is really beautiful. thank you.


October 17, 2009 | Registered Commenter[Pat Kashtock]

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