About Me

  Patricia Hammell Kashtock

Aka: Pat Kashtock. Mother of three, wife of one. BA in Social Work and Biblical Studies. Graduate work at Virginia Tech interrupted, then derailed by oldest child’s brain tumor...

My life has not followed the course I planned. But I am not complaining. Pain is to be expected in a world broken apart from its Creator.

The miracle resides in the ability to find joy when least expected...

 

To translate this website into a language other than English, please go to: Google Translate

Go to the third section and paste in the web address. Select "From English" then to which language you want to use.

It isn't a perfect solution, but you can get the main points covered in a basic way.

Search
Add to Favorites
Links
Articles and Entries
Privacy

I respect the privacy of my readers. Your email address will never be displayed. The last thing any of us want is SPAM.

But if you do provide your URL when you leave a comment, that will be displayed. That way other readers can visit your site. If for some reason you want me to visit your website but do not want your URL published, please use the Contact link on the left. It will provide you with a form to do so.

Blessings,

Pat

For What It's Worth

Each life is a journey. The voices of many guides try to direct us, saying, “This is the path – walk in it!” Yet each one leads in a different direction.

I believe only one Voice can be true. That Voice will lead us in ways most unexpected, into worlds yet undiscovered. It will lead us up the hill, around the river and through the forest. And sometimes, it will lead without mercy.

Or so it seems.

I have made listening for that Voice and following it, my life’s quest. I will share some of what I have heard that Voice say with you. But I am not in the business of telling people how to think or what to believe. Each has to decide for himself. Only you can decide if you find the truth of the Voice in these words. And only you can decide how much it is worth to know the Voice, and follow.

But for me, it is worth the whole world.

And then some…

Login
Technorati Ping
2605869964_cf819f11d2_b.jpg

Entries in love letters to God (1)

Tuesday
Feb172009

When the Journey Began

The first stages of any new venture can be fraught with misunderstanding.

And sometimes those uncertainties can reappear although apparently settled before.

 

I was reading about "journaling prayer" and came across the statement: "write your love letter to Jesus and listen to His love letter to you."

But Lord, I don't feel very lovable.

 

– I know... –

 

I'm not sure that is You.

Funny. I've been treating my family with extra gentleness; yet I feel unlovable. It seems I aim those feelings more towards You than elsewhere. I just don't have any idea of how I'm supposed to be around You. Everything feels so scrambled up, yet I find I sing praises to You under my breath as I go about, unknowingly.

 

– Do you think perhaps that pleases Me? –

 

Yes, now that You mention it. I think it pleases You very much when adoration for You wells up from within us even when we feel reject-able. I guess it shows some kind of trust: perhaps the one that knows You are steadfast, no matter what... and knows that You will get us out of whatever predicament we (or our past) lands us into.

 

Then I start to cry. I hear a sort of unhappy but soothing:

 

– What...!? –

 

Oh. I don't know... I feel all wrong. Like I'm doing it all wrong.

 

– There is no "all wrong". Each way is individual. –

 

Always people's perspective that seeking You intently is selfish and self-serving sets me into a tizzy of fear. Am I really so self serving? Yesterday You gently showed me how You used me for others in a way that was woven into my day. And as I sit here, I think that even my "housework" per se, is really a serving of my family: a way of supporting each one and helping them achieve their goals.

And I realize: the time I sit before You is proportionally not so huge. It is a good bit of time, but not really when seen against the backdrop of life's demands. I hope this is not too selfish of me, but I crave it so.


– Why? Why do you want this? –

 

Because if I do not come apart to seek You, then I fall apart. As far as people go: there is nothing in me that can serve You by serving them unless You pour it into me. I need You!

Granted: I want You, too – - but I cannot function as Your servant apart from You; and to be a part of You I have to come apart with You for awhile everyday!

Oh. but that sounds so work oriented, when in truth I come because You are simply glorious to be near.