And I Will Use Natural Consequences if I Have To!

I want to give up staying up late for Lent.

--- So do it. ---

And for both Mike's and my stake. I need to get supper on the table at 6 to 630. But I get so distracted.

 --- Temptations will come. It is more spiritual than you think, this battle. ---

How do I deal with that? Seriously Lord. I "know" the "right" answers, but don't get anywhere with them.

--- Give Me the first four hours of your day. ---

Like I didn't today...

---  True. But all is not lost. Not yet. It can be though, if you turn on that computer to do anything but write. No e-mail, and no research either during that time until you are well established in the proper habit. And no -- not until blood through the summer. Even vacation. Use a timer...  –

I am relieved to think that the first four hours includes my time with You, which is an hour plus an hour of practice.

             But that feels like cheating.

--- For now, let's do it that way. –

It takes a huge load off me.

--- You need some hope, and you need something doable. Yes -- use a timer. For now. Not always. Yes -- get a second one. That would help. Bigger is better so you don't lose it. I know how frustrating losing things is for you. ---

And frustrating when I start chasing down rabbit trails rather than stick to what needs to be done. For so many years, I watched often desperate circumstances swallow up my goals. There was little I could do to fix that.

But now, it is almost as if not achieving those goals has taken their place as a new goal in some insidious way. I wonder if I sabotage myself. The day may start off weel. My resolve runs high. For about 45 minutes after waking. Then my hand reaches to do whatever work stands in front of me, rather than towards the work goals for that day.

I have never had a regular schedule oh since I was very little, like before mom got sick.

--- No, you haven't. But you are ready to change. I let you get good and sick of doing it the other way. Consequences of your actions are no fun, but they are great teacher/motivators. It's tough. I know that, Little One.

If you go forward in pieces, you will be able to do it. You will find it is a good fit for you and will like the schedule itself as well as the results. This way will not seem so restrictive. We will move towards the other but not yet. ---