Weapons of Righteousness vs. Weapons of Hate

I know why it is so hard for me to lay down my "weapons of hate" as You have told me to do.

It hurts too much!

It seems that if I didn't hold my anger up like a shield, then I would have to grieve.

In all of this, I must first and foremost remember that I am Your servant, and act as such. I am not my own person any longer, but I am Yours.

hmmm: Something just occurred to me. I get angry when something I cherish is out and out attacked: people (especially those who cannot defend themselves), this small church body, the larger Body of Christ, You, (my own reputation, alas! Does one ever get to the place that it no longer matters?)

– Heaven –

oh.

And God help anyone who dares to attack my children!

I guess that tells us something about You.

1Cor. 6: 4-7 has the phrase, "Weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left."

Hey! That's what is to replace "weapons of hate"!!! But how easy it is for us to confuse the two! And both hands must be occupied, leaving no room to pick up the wrong thing. How can I know the difference?

– Read the rest of it. –

"Rather, as servants of God..."

(okay, You've spoken to me of being a servant)

"we commend ourselves in every way"

(this is how we can know the difference between true and false - do we commend ourselves as follows, or otherwise?)

"in great endurance, in troubles, hardships and distress; in beatings, imprisonments and riots;)"

(hmmm, just because these things follow us it doesn't mean we're "wrong" or "yucky" or that we're not living "victoriously" somehow, or that our "sin" has left open a door for Satan's attacks. This all just seems part and parcel of the Christian's life.)

"in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger;"

(some act as if we are sinning or dysfunctional if these ever happen!)

"in purity, understanding, kindness and patience"

(interesting that PURITY is followed by this particular triplet! When we think we are oh so pure, we so often follow it with condemnation, irritability and cruelty! Ouch!)

"in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love"

(an interesting duet! If we are truly in the Spirit, we truly, sincerely love!)

"in truthful speech and in the power of God"

(no truth, no power! Amen!)

"with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left."

(I still can't quite piece it together. help?)

okay - columns. If I list "weapons of righteousness" on one side, it stands to reason their opposite may fill out what are "weapons of hate".

                          

WEAPONS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS	WEAPONS OF HATE
1. Servant mentality, servant of God servants do as they're told, do not act on their own discretion. ( vs 4)	1. Ruler mentality, ie: "We have the right and the duty to control other people’s behavior. We decide what it’s the “right thing” for them to do in any given situation and then we try to make them do it.
2. Willingness to endure great hardship, and to endure it "greatly.” (vs 4-5)	2. Self protective. Looking after our "rights" and our reputations
3. Acceptance that things may get uncomfortable for me and may necessitate hard work, sleepless nights, and hunger. (vs 5-6)	3. Insistence that our own comfort, be it physical or emotional, is of the primary importance. And fighting or destroying anyone who gets in the way
4. Purity, which is comprised of, or includes: a. Understanding b. Patience c. Kindness (vs 6)	4. Impurity, which here looks like a. Condemnation b. Irritability, self protection c. Cruelty
5. In the Holy Spirit (vs 6)	5. In the flesh (or worse)
6.In sincere love (vs 6) Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy It is not rude, it is not self seeking Love is not easily angered Love does not keep a scorecard of all the wrongs done either to it, or in the world. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts always hopes, always perseveres Love never fails. (1Corinthians 13)	6. With hate, dissension or with insincere "love" Hate is impatient and cruel. It envies and is rude and seeks the best for itself. Hate runs around angry and it always keeps a good scorecard of any wrong ever committed. It seems to take delight when others are over taken by evil, either through their own temptations, or other's disdain. Hate seeks to bring about shame and disdain onto the heads of the object of hatred. It generally won't trust. Because of all of this, hate becomes despairing and loses all hope. Eventually it loses the strength to persevere. At that point, it fails even itself. The worst thing that hate does is to the one who has it. It has the power to destroy us, even when we think that we have just cause to hate, as I all too well know!
7. In truthful speech (vs7)	7. Deceitful speech: slanting the truth to suit our cause (leaving out some parts, emphasizing others), cover- ups, flattery, half truths, "projecting" onto others and not looking at or admitting the real reasons behind our actions; self justification. The scary thing here is that we can even begin to deceive ourselves
8. In the power of God (vs 7)	8. In our own power or the power of darkness, be it sin or Satan.

Thank You, Lord for clarifying this for me.

Help me always to remember that Your ways are not our ways - that's for sure! Who would ever in their right mind think of things like compassion, understanding and such as weapons! But You do tend to do the improbable!

So please, whenever I fall into any of the weapons of hate that You have told me I must lay down, check me quick! And give me the grace to do Your will instead of mine, for mine is inevitably flawed. Help me never to use weapons of hate – no matter how great the injustice, no matter how defenseless the person who is being hurt is, no matter how many lies are being told or lives being harmed. Just because evil is being perpetrated, is no reason for me to act in such a manner.

Teach me instead to walk in Your ways and fight with Your weapons alone. For we are not to give up the fight and we are not to cave into evil. You have told us to advocate for the widow and the orphan, to seek justice for the downtrodden. Only we must do it in Your way and in Your power. Never our own.

LOVE                        HATE

"bears all things”            "I'm not about to put up w/ that! Not for oneminute!"

Power and Anger and Hate

The song, "Miracles" about a man's little daughter with a brain tumor has the line, "Daddy make it go away.” That has to be the most heart wrenching line I have ever heard.

– Do you think I could feel any less? –

no. I guess not. Its just that the line seems/sounds so hopeless. I'm confused. I don't understand. Its poignancy lay in the father's powerlessness, while You are powerful..

– There are things you don't understand. –

I know... I also get confused as to how Your compassion and anger blend, fit together and somehow do not negate each other...

– Think: yourself. How is it for you? –

yes, I see, a little. Both anger and compassion have theirs roots in passion – a passionate and driven love and a passionate yearning for truth to be seen and for righteousness to prevail. Part of it is passion for righteousness.

What was it You said? "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled. . . . Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.” (Matt 5)

So – it's almost there, almost on the edge of my consciousness. I almost get it.

But when I get really, really angry, I feel destructive.

– What if it is someone you love? –

no. not really.

– When it is someone you are very close to? –

I needed to see that, didn't I?

1) If I do feel hateful, it is temporary and probably due to a) sin (mine) not under control, b) hormones, c) low blood sugar, d) major stress overload, e) some sort of desperate fear, etc.

2) I needed to be able to separate Your anger from Your hate.

That's what You are telling me, isn't it? That on some level I am confusing anger with hate, especially when it comes to You.

You do get angry with us.

We get angry at our children, too. But that is not the same as hate.

We get angry at each other, and may even say so. But as long as we are filled with Your love and desire to walk in Your Spirit, the anger will only be a temporary thing.

Scripture says that Your anger lasts but for a moment, but Your love endures forever. Thank You.

Be it so, Lord. I do not want to do/say the things or harbor the thoughts that anger You -- even that temporary breech in relationship gives me a sick feeling.

(Col. 3)"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature... Now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these:

anger / rage / malice / slander / from your lips... /

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, cloth yourselves with:

compassion / kindness / gentleness / and patience.

Bear with one another and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace."

1Thess. 5:8 "But since we belong to the day, let us be self controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath... Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up."

Habb. 3:2 - a prayer: "... in wrath, remember mercy, O Lord."

(This is a good thing for us to remember to do, also!)

Habb 2:12 "Woe to him who builds a city with bloodshed... The Lord Almighty determined that the people's labor is only fuel for the fire"

Hmmm... City can = building ourselves a place of honor and esteem from others, a place of power from which to operate, and a place for us to "dwell".

Bloodshed in this era, can = murdering the reputations of others.

"Fuel for the fire" = when we do this thing, it will turn around at some point and burn us!

verse 16 - "Now it is your turn! Drink and be exposed!... Disgrace will cover your glory."

It sounds so awful, but taken in context, this means that the Lord merely turns back onto us what we've done to others.

Party Like Jesus Did

Oh Lord – of all the things I regret, I regret the vast amounts of time invested in helping them while Heidi was so ill. It seems like such a waste, now.

-- You don’t know that… --

You mean it wasn’t?

-- No. At least not in the way you are thinking.

You spent time, your time, to help someone who truly needed help.

And yes, it helped the church, too.

And you did gain from it. You needed friends at the time who were available.

And – You needed fun!

Little One – I know you and I don’t drive you. You just think I do.

Life is for living, too, not just work.

Hey – I partied. For real .

I enjoyed it so much!

Even in the midst of being about my Father’s business, I partied.

I enjoyed people and I enjoyed life. And that was during a very short three years.

Life is long; it is not three years. I do not expect you to function like a machine. --

Balking at Love and Difficult Children

Lord?

– Pick up your pen –

but I don't want to write.

– I know. –

okay. do You have anything to say to me? I feel so empty of words. 

– Yes. But you can't hear it. –

then open my ears, please. "Dig them out.” (funny - that's the same way one says "pierce my ears" in Hebrew, as in the kind of ear piercing a "lord" did to his slave in the public square as a sing that the slave desired to remain with his "lord" for always, willingly.)

– Oh My Child

My Little One

My Love. – 

– – – –

– Write it. You're "balking." – 

but it sounds so standard. Like I'm making it up.

– Perhaps. But you need the healing. –

Lord, help?

– I love you. –

(– Write it! – )

but?

– ! – 

okay.

– Lots. –

as in cast "lots"?

– No. A lot, silly. –

a silly filly. –

– Pat. Do you know you are being difficult? – 

You're laughing! But, Lord? I really don't feel like there is anything there.

– So, try. – 

– As the leaves turn brown and fall in their season,

so love grows.

Green bud, full leaf, lush color, brown. 

The lush color precedes their death.

Then they fall to the ground and there is apparent barrenness.

Stark do the trees stand against the sky.

This tells you something.

Patterns. -

Patterns in nature.

- I talk to you through the patterns. –

A hawk comes and lands on the tree.

Somehow I have always felt that hawks represent Your special promise to me.

– Watch –

As I watch, I realize that I would have not seen him if the trees had been leaf-full. The "apparent" barrenness of the woods allows other things to be seen.

– Keep watching. –

As I do, my eyes start blurring and I cannot get them real clear no matter how much I blink.

– This is as the hawk sees –

Everything blurs together, except the hawk that I focus on so intently. This is odd because the Hawk is essentially the same color as the surrounding woods. Yet the light hits him differently. And every little movement he makes shows up.

A squirrel scampers by.

oh - I would hate it, to see him catch the squirrel! They are so funny and I feel like they, too, have a special meaning between You and I.

– I know. That's why I won't let it happen. –

He sits there a long time.

– You've long wanted to know what kind of hawk it is that you've been seeing, haven't you?

Watch. –

He's heavy bodied and reddish. As he moves he flies heavily. His body is awfully rounded for a hawk. Wait a minute. Is "he" a "she"?

You smile.

And there are black and white bands on the tail. The tail seems maybe short. The hawk flies out of sight.

I tried staring at a single point again to see what would happen. At first, nothing. Then everything else begins to blur out. Once that happens, it is difficult to regain focus.

Wait! That tells me more than I thought!

At first I thought that You meant that when we focus on You, everything else fades away. But the converse is true – when I focus intently on one thing, the whole forest becomes a blur. If I focus intently on one thing: a problem, a person, pain – I lose sight of You! You perhaps are more akin to the woods than to the hawk. Hawks come and go, but the forest is always there. It is that which nurtures the Hawk, the squirrel, my heart. It is home to that which is dear to me, but it, itself, is dearer to me than all that it contains.

I know there is more to this. Please, tell me later? Thank You for Your gentle way of talking to me today. I feel too stale to hear "longer" words.

– There is no need –

for the longer word, or to feel stale?

– Both. –

ah. You're not saying that the staleness isn't there - You are saying that it is unnecessary. Please help me out of it then?

– I am –

thank You.

– Last word syndrome? –

but I don't want to be impolite...

I'm unsure if I should try to listen more, or if we're done for now?

– Go in peace, Little One. –

2/16

Part of the "more" to the above: when I focused on the hawk and couldn't really see the woods any more – the woods did not move away from me! It stayed where it was, and it stayed forest. It did not change; it did not withdraw. And - neither did I! I was as close to the woods as I ever was.

When I intensely focus on something (situation or person or problem) I cannot "see" You well. It is as if You are far away, withdrawn in displeasure. But I don't think so. Or we could say, "I moved". But I guess I didn't. It’s a matter of focus and how we are constructed. Intense focus blurs out everything else. It doesn't make it go away.

Like pain. That begs for focus. No wonder it is hard to sense Your comfort in the midst of the pain. We focus on it. How could we not - it hurts. And we're sort of made that way because pain is a warning bell for action.

One really funny thing. I've always wanted to really look at the hawk. I got my chance today, but he/she didn't do much. Really, when a hawk isn't moving, it’s not all that interesting.

Cross Markings

Betsey made five cross markings on my forehead and asked if I knew what they meant. I thought perhaps something like I wasn't trying hard enough, or carrying my "cross" very well. She said no, each mark stood for a member of my family, and symbolically for all those I care about. Then she said, "This is what the Lord would say to you..." I thought it would be a rebuke.

-- You carry everybody

but I carry you. 

It is not wrong that you carry everybody,

for I, with My own hand and very deliberately

have set each one on your heart.

But I have said to you that My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Each mark of the cross upon you

is a sign of where the weight of each life is to hang,

and that is on Me.

I desire to show you how to live reclined on Me,

the cross no longer an instrument of torture,

but the everlasting arms beneath you.

Can you just fall back on Me?

It is only a little while--

then no more gravity.

But for now, stay with Me.–

Teeth Clenching Pride and Kings

Lord, it is depressing to read in Kings and Chronicles. Kings who started out well, and who You took care of magnificently, became hardened against You. Either they became full of self-pride or they abandoned You for other“gods”even the “gods” of their enemies that You had enabled themto defeat!

This terrifies me. Please do not let me fall from the path that You have started me on. I can see all too easily how it could happen.

Lord – I’m scared.

— Don’t be…—

but why?

— Because I will carry you. —

but what about those kings?

— Pride was their downfall. —

but I have pride, too.

— Not the same thing —

but Lord, I don’t understand it.

— You don’t need to. —

but?

— Softness. I soften your heart towards Me. —

but what about them?

— Determined hardness. —

I see teeth clenching.

— Teeth clenching pride. —

I’m confused.

— I know you are,

but you can trust Me.

I won’t leave you to your own devices.

I know you are helpless

It is no surprise to Me,

only to you.

I have been but letting you feel it lately. It is

miserable and frightening for you. I know that.

To “see” yourself is a scary thing. It leaves you

feeling as though you are “hanging out there”

You aren’t –

but you would be if left to your own.

That is simply what you need to know

- that you aren’t some “spiritual giant”

nor do you have to be,

nor will you ever be.

Do you think I love you any the less for that?

You do, don’t you?

But I don’t. —

Be a Child

The most precious place in all existence to be when it’s “Just the 2 of us” – You and each of us. I know that it is for me.

But. ooohhhh. That can be a rocky road!

— Hmmmm . . . —

You sound content.

— I am —

always?

— No. Not always, silly! You know that! —

but that is what some writers say, that “God is always content because He’s infinitely in control.”

— Humpf! —

You “snort!"

— Yes I do! Forget "the writers"!

Pat! You know better than that .—

but sometimes I forget, sort of.

— You fear, you mean,

that somehow I am “detached,” above it all.

I am not “above it all”

I’m in it all, right in the thick of things, in the middle,

down in the “nitty-gritty.”

So down in the nitty gritty that I the grit between My “teeth”! —

Oh, dear! You smile!

— Yes. And you worry too much. —

and I can feel myself crawl into Your lap and curl up there, content like a child.

— Yes, Child. My child. This is where I want you for now.

There will be more: but for now, rest in Me. Let Me hold you.

And you will be content, and I will be content

for now, for a while.

And then you will grow up in Me and that will be different, powerful.

Yes, you will like it,

but for now, just for now

be a child. –

Everlasting Love

-- Oh, My Child, I love you.

          I have loved you with an everlasting love.

How can you doubt?

          I have been with you,and I have run before you.

          I am your strength and I am your shield.

You are Mine, My own,

and I have owned you

and will not let you go.

I have owned you forever and you are Mine.

Do not doubt. Do not fear.

I am here with you. --